83 Loads ***************************************************** The market was steady to strong, except for the alfalfa which was just steady. ***************************************************** Were you an optimist or pessimist? An optimist stayed up until midnight to see the New Year in; a pessimist stayed up until midnight to make sure the old year left. ***************************************************** Fiscal Cliff - It would only be a real cliff if Congress's salary and benefits had been cut on January 1st. *****************************************************
42 Loads ***************************************************** Beautiful Day - Things sold quite well on everything except the bedding. ***************************************************** A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom - his hands were dirty. She stopped him and said, "John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" Smiling, the boy replied, "I think would be too polite to mention it." *****************************************************
95 Loads ***************************************************** Market was steady to strong today, with a good volume of hay available. We are getting a little much-needed rain; praying it's won't ice before all are home. ***************************************************** A pregnant woman gets into a car accident & falls into a deep coma. After a week, she wakes & sees she is no longer pregnant. She asks about the baby. The Dr. assures her all is well. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. Your brother's family came, named them, & are caring for them until you are well." "On no, my brother is an idiot. Well what's the girl's name?" Denise is the reply. "Wow, not bad. I like Denise. I was wrong about my brother. What's the boy's name?" Denephue was the reply. *****************************************************
37 Loads ***************************************************** Steady market on a light run. ***************************************************** Physics Teacher: Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head & he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful? Student: Yes Sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything. *****************************************************
92 Loads ***************************************************** Steady to strong market today. ***************************************************** It's all in the punctuation - English professor wrote, "Woman without her man is nothing", on the blackboard & asked student to punctuate it correctly. Men wrote, "Woman, without her man, is nothing." Women wrote, "Woman: Without her, man is nothing." *****************************************************
32 Loads ***************************************************** A rather off day on a very frigid, cold day. ***************************************************** STRANGE but TRUE: Those who study such things say the three most recognized words in the world are God, Coca-Cola, and Titanic. The amount of fuel in a jumbo jet single tank would be enough to allow a car to drive around the world - four times. It's tradition in Italy for a prospective groom to spend a full year's earnings on an engagement ring. *****************************************************
69 Loads ***************************************************** Market Steady - Very Cold Day. ***************************************************** A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the robbery & getting in & out past security, he was captured only 3 blocks away where his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime & then make such an obvious error, he replied, "I had no Money to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." *****************************************************
23 Loads ***************************************************** Rain of about 1/2 inch yesterday left secondary roads icy. Fog also moved in last night. So a light run at the auction. ***************************************************** Mr. Plainview is standing in the middle of a huge field of many cornstalk bales, doing nothing, looking at nothing. A passerby stops & asks what he is doing. Mr. Plainview says, "I'm trying to win a Noble Prize. I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field." *****************************************************
60 Loads ***************************************************** COLD day; hot auction. ***************************************************** Miss Marie Collins, a first grade teacher, explains to her class that she is a 49ers fan. She asks her pupils to raise their hands if they are 49ers fans too. Not really knowing, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air. There is one exception, Paula has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "I'm a Ravens fan." boasts Paula proudly. "My Dad & Mum are Ravens fans & I'm a Ravens fan too." Miss Collins retorts, "What if your mum was a moron & your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?" Paula smiles & says, "Then I'd be a 49ers fan." *****************************************************