Rock Valley Hay Auction

SEPTEMBER 6, 2018
72 loads

On a lighter run, the market was stronger on grass and alfalfa. Stalks were slightly stronger. Straw sold a little weaker. Quality on all categories was average at best.

GRASS: 27

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq    760 85.00
3x3  14630 185.00
3x3  49380 147.50
lgrd  48300 140.00
lgrd  49840 137.50
lgrd  51280 135.00
lgrd  48680 135.00
lgrd  48160 120.00
lgrd  45060 120.00
lgrd  50280 120.00
lgrd              120.00
lgrd   51760 117.50
lgrd   35870 117.50
lgrd   44680 117.50
lgrd  48240 115.00
lgrd  47840 115.00
lgrd  48600 115.00
lgrd  47420 112.50
lgrd   39680 112.50
lgrd  6420 110.00
lgrd  60200 110.00
lgrd  45900 107.50
lgrd  16420 92.50
lgrd              85.00
lgrd  54580 80.00
lgrd  17300 70.00
lgrd  52960 55.00

In light of our recent fall-like weather and football season starting, we are bringing to you a blonde joke that makes football make sense. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl. They had great seats right behind the team bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. *Oh, I really liked it,* she said. *Especially the tight pants and big muscles. I just don*t understand why there were trying to kill each other over $.25.*

Dumbfounded, the boyfriend asked her what she meant. She said, *Well at the start they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then they spent the rest of the game yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back. I*m like, helloooo...it*s only $.25!*

September 13, 2018
89 loads

Market was called weaker on alfalfa and grass. Quality was generally average. Straw sold about steady and cornstalks were stronger today.

GRASS: 38

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   51380 150.00
lgrd   47500 140.00
lgrd   5780 137.50
lgrd   44460 137.50
lgrd   49620 130.00
lgrd   45600 130.00
lgrd   49840 125.00
lgrd   51460 122.50
lgrd   46640 120.00
lgrd   48240 120.00
lgrd   49420 120.00
lgrd   47220 120.00
lgrd   49780 120.00
lgrd   50760 120.00
lgrd   14220 117.50
lgrd   52920 115.00
lgrd   35360 115.00
lgrd   47680 112.50
lgrd   46380 112.50
lgrd   47140 110.00
lgrd   45300 110.00
lgrd   45200 110.00
lgrd   45180 110.00
lgrd   54800 110.00
lgrd   47200 110.00
lgrd   55800 107.50
lgrd   52460 105.00
lgrd   42600 105.00
lgrd   14140 97.50
lgrd   51620 95.00
lgrd   4560 95.00
lgrd   56000 90.00
lgrd   33620 87.50
lgrd   51480 85.00
lgrd   26560 85.00
lgrd   49480 80.00
oats  41020 70.00
oats  49700 62.50

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, *Kin ya swaller?* The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, *Kin ya breathe?*  The woman starts to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks up to the woman, lifts her dress, yanks down her drawers, and gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, *Ya know, I*d heerd of that there *Hind Lick Maneuver* but I ain*t niver seed nobody do it!*

September 20, 2018
74 loads

GRASS: 31

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   27840 102.50
lgrd   49460 135.00
lgrd   48800 132.50
lgrd   45520 130.00
lgrd   44740 130.00
lgrd   43800 130.00
lgrd   43280 130.00
lgrd   59760 130.00
lgrd   44520 127.50
lgrd   20220 127.50
lgrd   50820 125.00
lgrd   49360 125.00
lgrd   50100 122.50
lgrd   60100 120.00
lgrd                120.00
lgrd   44700 115.00
lgrd   59180 112.50
lgrd   55480 110.00
lgrd   43740 110.00
lgrd   18780 107.50
lgrd   47620 100.00
lgrd   51420 100.00
lgrd   53680 100.00
lgrd   42960 100.00
lgrd   36550 100.00
lgrd   44080 95.00
lgrd   41340 95.00
lgrd   57660 95.00
lgrd   40920 92.50
lgrd   54320 90.00
lgrd   49760 85.00

After 10 years a wife started to think that their child looked a little strange, so she had a DNA test done and found out that the child was not theirs. She told her husband what she had found out. The husband replied, *You don*t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital and the baby pooped himself, you told me to go change him. So I went inside and got a cleanone and left the dirty one there.* The wife fainted.

September 27, 2018
93 loads

Alfalfa sold steady. Grass sold steady. Cornstalks sold strong to steady.

GRASS: 48

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq 7760 100.00
3x3  47620 120.00
3x3  13240 120.00
3x3  47380 115.00
3x4  21940 135.00
lgrd  21870 135.00
lgrd  45560 135.00
lgrd  43980 135.00
lgrd  48140 132.50
lgrd  49940 132.50
lgrd  46780 130.00
lgrd  50280 127.50
lgrd  18040 127.50
lgrd  53260 127.50
lgrd  53560 125.00
lgrd  46120 125.00
lgrd  50780 125.00
lgrd  54200 120.00
lgrd  52300 120.00
lgrd  51920 120.00
lgrd  53480 120.00
lgrd  49520 117.50
lgrd  50940 117.50
lgrd  27920 117.50
lgrd  44460 115.00
lgrd  49540 115.00
lgrd  40540 112.50
lgrd  56980 112.50
lgrd  40480 112.50
lgrd              112.50
lgrd  49260 110.00
lgrd  48660 110.00
lgrd  52540 107.50
lgrd  51220 107.50
lgrd  52620 107.50
lgrd              107.50
lgrd  51480 105.00
lgrd  12660 105.00
lgrd  43960 102.50
lgrd  54680 102.50
lgrd  45660 100.00
lgrd  42920 100.00
lgrd  43480 100.00
lgrd  34200 95.00
lgrd  45820 90.00
lgrd  41400 90.00
lgrd  40320 87.50
lgrd  49200 80.00
lgrd  17860 60.00

The plumber said:  *Why haven*t you paid your bill for the work I did last Friday?* Paddy replied:  *Well it was not what you quoted me* The plumber said: *I didn*t give you a quote?* Paddy replied,  *Yes you did! when I asked what day you could come, you said you were free on Friday*

August 2, 2018
90 loads

Alfalfa was of better quality today, and the $ reflected accordingly. Grass sold mostly steady. Quality was a little better. Some sold stronger. Straw square- 1 load new the rest were old. Straw rounds-all new.  Cornstalks are starting to show their age.

GRASS: 30

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   53610 137.50
3x4   13452 80.00
3x4   33643 80.00
lgrd   36500 135.00
lgrd   54500 135.00
lgrd   41180 132.50
lgrd   20560 130.00
lgrd   48880 130.00
lgrd   48740 127.50
lgrd   48880 127.50
lgrd   48920 127.50
lgrd   52040 122.50
lgrd   47640 122.50
lgrd   50180 115.00
lgrd   51980 110.00
lgrd   60880 110.00
lgrd   51580 110.00
lgrd   50080 110.00
lgrd   13960 110.00
lgrd   52000 105.00
lgrd   55900 102.50
lgrd   35440 102.50
lgrd   50720 100.00
lgrd   52360 97.50
lgrd   54060 97.50
lgrd   42820 92.50
lgrd   44420 90.00
lgrd   44280 85.00
lgrd   56100 55.00
lgrd   50880 45.00

~~A 70 year old man asked his wife, *Do you feel sad when you see me chasing after younger women.*

*Not at all,* she said. *Even dogs chase cars that they can*t drive!*

August 9, 2018
78 loads

We had lots of loads of grass in today. Most of the loads were medium quality. Grass sold a little weaker. BE SURE TO CHECK OUT OUR FOOD TRUCK ON SALE DAYS!

GRASS: 40

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq 3680 145.00
lgrd  47020 137.50
lgrd  45700 135.00
lgrd  36760 135.00
lgrd  48940 135.00
lgrd  44460 132.50
lgrd  50880 127.50
lgrd  19000 125.00
lgrd  55400 125.00
lgrd  49520 125.00
lgrd  58520 122.50
lgrd  56580 122.50
lgrd  49460 120.00
lgrd  52220 120.00
lgrd  49680 117.50
lgrd  32980 117.50
lgrd  58120 110.00
lgrd              105.00
lgrd  55520 105.00
lgrd  55080 105.00
lgrd              102.50
lgrd  52380 100.00
lgrd  55660 100.00
lgrd  48800 100.00
lgrd              100.00
lgrd  52280 95.00
lgrd  54640 92.50
lgrd  53100 90.00
lgrd  31440 90.00
lgrd  46920 90.00
lgrd  45740 90.00
lgrd  50620 87.50
lgrd  14920 87.50
lgrd  50000 87.50
lgrd  22820 80.00
lgrd  44380 80.00
lgrd  13500 77.50
lgrd  31160 70.00
lgrd  14380 65.00
lgrd  7560 60.00

I know that I always make a weekly joke, but on a more serious note...
I would like everyone to say a prayer for me and wish me luck today. I have to go talk to the bank today, and if all goes well, we are talking thousands of dollars here. I cannot wait to be free of debt. I am so excited I can barely get my ski mask over my head!

DISCLAIMER: none of our employees actually plan on robbing the bank!

August 16, 2018
84 loads

GRASS: 33

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   56660 80.00
3x4   53200 130.00
lgrd   59840 145.00
lgrd   39360 132.50
lgrd   49980 127.50
lgrd   46440 125.00
lgrd   48820 125.00
lgrd   52580 122.50
lgrd   49200 122.50
lgrd   50500 122.50
lgrd   24740 120.00
lgrd   49780 120.00
lgrd   50200 117.50
lgrd   56560 117.50
lgrd   47400 117.50
lgrd   51240 115.00
lgrd   44200 110.00
lgrd   59800 110.00
lgrd   60160 105.00
lgrd   55380 105.00
lgrd   52900 100.00
lgrd   12140 100.00
lgrd   48100 100.00
lgrd   46440 100.00
lgrd   49720 100.00
lgrd   44580 100.00
lgrd   47840 97.50
lgrd   54400 97.50
lgrd   55400 97.50
lgrd   42220 95.00
lgrd   19560 95.00
lgrd   44020 92.50
lgrd   60460 90.00

I was walking home late last night and I decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Three girls walked up and explained to me that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let them walk along with me. I told them, *I understand. I used to get freaked out too when I was alive.* - I*ve never seen anyone run so fast!

August 23, 2018
95 loads

Poorer grass sold a little weaker, and better grass sold stronger. There was a wide range on the alfalfa with a wide range of hay in. Bedding was scare today, but sold strong. Quality was average at best.

GRASS: 48

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq 5580 142.50
lgrd  52420 150.00
lgrd  57520 140.00
lgrd  56700 140.00
lgrd  51180 137.50
lgrd  50700 135.00
lgrd  59200 135.00
lgrd  51440 132.50
lgrd  53300 122.50
lgrd  48760 120.00
lgrd  56260 117.50
lgrd  22720 115.00
lgrd  56020 110.00
lgrd  50960 110.00
lgrd  50660 110.00
lgrd              110.00
lgrd  50560 107.50
lgrd  61380 107.50
lgrd  50660 107.50
lgrd  35740 107.50
lgrd  49900 105.00
lgrd  56080 102.50
lgrd  45620 102.50
lgrd  45880 102.50
lgrd  47880 100.00
lgrd  31600 97.50
lgrd  53640 97.50
lgrd  52400 97.50
lgrd  48660 95.00
lgrd  50120 95.00
lgrd  52880 95.00
lgrd  48240 95.00
lgrd  47280 95.00
lgrd  48920 95.00
lgrd   54700 92.50
lgrd  33160 92.50
lgrd   35800 90.00
lgrd  17420 90.00
lgrd  35700 90.00
lgrd  40600 82.50
lgrd  47020 82.50
lgrd   49920 82.50
lgrd  49760 80.00
lgrd  54180 80.00
lgrd  54040 80.00
lgrd  39940 77.50
lgrd  48200 70.00
lgrd  51280 70.00

~~*Do you believe in life after death?* my boss asked one of his employees. *Yes, sir,* the clerk replied. *That*s good,* said the boss. *After you left early yesterday to go to your grandma*s funeral, she stopped in to see you.*

~~I went for a run, but I came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I*m fat and can*t run for more than 2 minutes.

July 30, 2018
78 loads

Market was called generally lower on heavy volume. Quality was average at best.

GRASS: 51

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
lgrd   48420 132.50
lgrd   53000 122.50
lgrd   51940 122.50
lgrd   52420 120.00
lgrd   52660 120.00
lgrd               117.50
lgrd   57400 115.00
lgrd   38860 112.50
lgrd   45900 112.50
lgrd   46680 110.00
lgrd   56600 110.00
lgrd   61160 107.50
lgrd   59000 107.50
lgrd   50500 107.50
lgrd   60260 105.00
lgrd   20660 105.00
lgrd   37580 105.00
lgrd   57940 105.00
lgrd   50580 102.50
lgrd   56160 102.50
lgrd   54440 102.50
lgrd   39260 102.50
lgrd   41240 100.00
lgrd   46520 100.00
lgrd   47260 100.00
lgrd   12280 95.00
lgrd   48540 95.00
lgrd   45620 95.00
lgrd   50400 95.00
lgrd   43180 95.00
lgrd   46200 95.00
lgrd   37320 92.50
lgrd   53620 92.50
lgrd   50180 92.50
lgrd   46440 92.50
lgrd   41200 90.00
lgrd   41280 90.00
lgrd   43500 90.00
lgrd   40380 90.00
lgrd   47320 90.00
lgrd   34200 87.50
lgrd   58560 87.50
lgrd   47240 87.50
lgrd   61660 85.00
lgrd   48120 85.00
lgrd   37080 85.00
lgrd   18220 82.50
lgrd   49580 82.50
lgrd   59960 77.50
lgrd   68720 70.00
lgrd   18600 60.00
lgrd   57980 50.00

So, I*m sitting in a bar and two very large women with accents are sitting across from me. I say, *Cool accents, are you two ladies from Scotland?* One of them yells, *Its Wales, you idiot.* So I said, *OK, are you two Whales from Scotland?*

I don*t remember much after that.