Thursday January 31, 2019
23 loads.

Low volume today due to the Arctic blast that we experienced this week. Market was stronger on a very light volume. Quality varied today.

Straw: 0
Mixed: 1

size   lbs   $/ton

lgrd 17840  127.50

Cornstalks: 7

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  44700  75.00

lgrd  46260  75.00

lgrd  44460  70.00

lgrd  42740  67.50

lgrd  48060  67.50

lgrd  47560  60.00

lgrd  49140  60.00

A pharmacist walks into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. “What’s wrong with him?” he asks his assistant. “He came in for some cough syrup,” the assistant explains, “but I couldn’t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.” “What?!” the pharmacist said, horrified. “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!” “Sure you can!” the assistant declares. “Look at him- he’s far too scared to cough”

 

Thursday January 31, 2019
23 loads.

Low volume today due to the Arctic blast that we experienced this week. Market was stronger on a very light volume. Quality varied today.

Alfalfa: 7

SIZE   LBS    $/TON CUT

3x4   51160 170.00

lgrd  43760 155.00

lgrd  50820 150.00

lgrd  43780 147.50

lgrd  44840 142.50

lgrd              140.00

lgrd  32720 117.50 1st

GRASS: 8

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  50280 155.00

lgrd  45620 147.50

lgrd  19520 145.00

lgrd  57280 142.50

lgrd  57520 140.00

lgrd  50840 140.00

lgrd  56000 137.50

lgrd  29600 102.50

A pharmacist walks into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. “What’s wrong with him?” he asks his assistant. “He came in for some cough syrup,” the assistant explains, “but I couldn’t find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead.” “What?!” the pharmacist said, horrified. “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!” “Sure you can!” the assistant declares. “Look at him- he’s far too scared to cough”

 

Monday January 28, 2019
16 loads.

The market was called steady on a very light run due to the inclement weather.

Cornstalks: 2

SIZE   LBS    $/TON CUT

lgrd  39860  77.50

lgrd  39080  75.00

Straw: 0

 

Mixed: 0

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 A.M., a bit tipsy, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when drunk – 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equals 12 – MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight.” He didn’t seem mad in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “I think we need a new cuckoo clock.”  When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘oh crap’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

 

Monday January 28, 2019
16 loads.

The market was called steady on a very light run due to the inclement weather.

Alfalfa: 5

SIZE   LBS    $/TON CUT

smsq    104   2.85

SIZE    LBS  $/TON CUT

3x4   47600 170.00

lgrd  42120 115.00 2nd

lgrd  43360 112.50 1st

lgrd  44860 102.50

GRASS: 9

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  55340 140.00

lgrd  46540 135.00

lgrd  54520 130.00

lgrd  53860 130.00

lgrd  45300 127.50

lgrd  53880 125.00

lgrd  55220 117.50

lgrd  17300 112.50

lgrd  58860 102.50

The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 A.M., a bit tipsy, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when drunk – 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos equals 12 – MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight.” He didn’t seem mad in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “I think we need a new cuckoo clock.”  When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘oh crap’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

 

Thursday January 24, 2019
46 loads.

Market was called steady to weaker. Quality seemed poorer today.

MIXED: 1

SIZE   LBS    $/TON 

lgrd  56020  127.50

STRAW: 3

SIZE   LBS    $/TON

3x4   52640  75.00

lgrd  39560 107.50

lgrd  33280 107.50

CORNSTALKS: 6

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  49020  70.00

lgrd  50120  62.50

lgrd  49760  62.50

lgrd  41960  57.50

lgrd  45260  57.50

lgrd  55320  52.50

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Howard, is he here?” “No, he went with Mom and Dad. The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give my Dad a message.” “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “no, I really want to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant.” The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

 

Thursday January 24, 2019
46 loads.

Market was called steady to weaker. Quality seemed poorer today.

Alfalfa: 18

SIZE   LBS    $/TON CUT

lgrd  49400 150.00 2nd

lgrd  51340 145.00

lgrd  46320 142.50 2nd

lgrd  47700 140.00 2nd

lgrd  47600 140.00 4th

lgrd  49860 135.00 2nd

lgrd  51320 135.00 1st

lgrd  49640 130.00 3rd

lgrd  38540 130.00 2nd

lgrd  57860 120.00 1st

lgrd  44700 120.00 1st

lgrd               115.00 1st

lgrd               112.50 1st

lgrd  43100 110.00 1st

lgrd  46060 110.00 1st

lgrd  52840 110.00

lgrd  44300 107.50 1st

lgrd  44260  97.50 1st

GRASS: 18

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

3x3   45860 130.00  oats

lgrd  59480 165.00

lgrd  21680 142.50

lgrd  30820 140.00

lgrd  55320 140.00

lgrd  55680 140.00

lgrd  12400 137.50

lgrd               125.00

lgrd  54580 122.50 oats

lgrd  50260 120.00

lgrd  39120 120.00

lgrd  52080 117.50

lgrd  51160 117.50

lgrd  53200 110.00

lgrd  46180 110.00

lgrd  17840 105.00

lgrd               102.50

lgrd  46460 100.00

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Howard, is he here?” “No, he went with Mom and Dad. The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give my Dad a message.” “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “no, I really want to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant.” The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

 

Monday January 21, 2019
15 loads.

Market was steady on a very light run.

Straw: 1

SIZE   LBS    $/TON 

3x3  31820  110.00

CORNSTALKS: 2

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  49320  62.50

lgrd  47540  57.50

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven point.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?” The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score….”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha! I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to be beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops the bed.

The wife says, “What the heck was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides!”

 

Monday January 21, 2019
15 loads.

Market was steady on a very light run.

Alfalfa: 6

SIZE   LBS    $/TON CUT

lgrd  53500 147.50

lgrd  50220 130.00

lgrd  47460 130.00 2nd

lgrd  52300 125.00

lgrd  42480 120.00

lgrd  36280 112.50 3rd

GRASS: 6

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  57900 145.00

lgrd  52940 135.00

lgrd  49040 127.50

lgrd  51520 125.00

lgrd  52760 125.00

lgrd  51000 102.50

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, “Seven point.”

His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?” The old man replied, “It’s fart football.”

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score….”

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, “Aha! I’m ahead 14 to 7.”

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”

Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to be beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops the bed.

The wife says, “What the heck was that?”

The old man says, “Half time, switch sides!”

 

Thursday January 17, 2019
93 loads.

We had a heavy volume today! Market trended a little weaker today, and quality varied greatly.

Mixed: 5

SIZE   LBS    $/TON 

lgrd  49240 160.00

lgrd  58120 145.00

lgrd  18820 125.00

lgrd  48080 120.00

lgrd  45860  97.50

 

Straw: 2

SIZE   LBS    $/TON 

3x4   32260 100.00

3x4   58120  65.00

 

Cornstalks: 5

SIZE   LBS  $/TON

lgrd  38990  67.50

lgrd  35060  65.00

lgrd  35240  60.00

lgrd  17140  55.00

lgrd  46650  40.00

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon, the Army barber shaved off all of his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon, the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for fifty-one years.