September 2018 | Alfalfa & Grass Results

SEPTEMBER 6, 2018
72 loads

On a lighter run, the market was stronger on grass and alfalfa. Stalks were slightly stronger. Straw sold a little weaker. Quality on all categories was average at best.

GRASS: 27

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq    760 85.00
3x3  14630 185.00
3x3  49380 147.50
lgrd  48300 140.00
lgrd  49840 137.50
lgrd  51280 135.00
lgrd  48680 135.00
lgrd  48160 120.00
lgrd  45060 120.00
lgrd  50280 120.00
lgrd              120.00
lgrd   51760 117.50
lgrd   35870 117.50
lgrd   44680 117.50
lgrd  48240 115.00
lgrd  47840 115.00
lgrd  48600 115.00
lgrd  47420 112.50
lgrd   39680 112.50
lgrd  6420 110.00
lgrd  60200 110.00
lgrd  45900 107.50
lgrd  16420 92.50
lgrd              85.00
lgrd  54580 80.00
lgrd  17300 70.00
lgrd  52960 55.00

In light of our recent fall-like weather and football season starting, we are bringing to you a blonde joke that makes football make sense. A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl. They had great seats right behind the team bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. *Oh, I really liked it,* she said. *Especially the tight pants and big muscles. I just don*t understand why there were trying to kill each other over $.25.*

Dumbfounded, the boyfriend asked her what she meant. She said, *Well at the start they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then they spent the rest of the game yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back. I*m like, helloooo...it*s only $.25!*

September 13, 2018
89 loads

Market was called weaker on alfalfa and grass. Quality was generally average. Straw sold about steady and cornstalks were stronger today.

GRASS: 38

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x4   51380 150.00
lgrd   47500 140.00
lgrd   5780 137.50
lgrd   44460 137.50
lgrd   49620 130.00
lgrd   45600 130.00
lgrd   49840 125.00
lgrd   51460 122.50
lgrd   46640 120.00
lgrd   48240 120.00
lgrd   49420 120.00
lgrd   47220 120.00
lgrd   49780 120.00
lgrd   50760 120.00
lgrd   14220 117.50
lgrd   52920 115.00
lgrd   35360 115.00
lgrd   47680 112.50
lgrd   46380 112.50
lgrd   47140 110.00
lgrd   45300 110.00
lgrd   45200 110.00
lgrd   45180 110.00
lgrd   54800 110.00
lgrd   47200 110.00
lgrd   55800 107.50
lgrd   52460 105.00
lgrd   42600 105.00
lgrd   14140 97.50
lgrd   51620 95.00
lgrd   4560 95.00
lgrd   56000 90.00
lgrd   33620 87.50
lgrd   51480 85.00
lgrd   26560 85.00
lgrd   49480 80.00
oats  41020 70.00
oats  49700 62.50

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, *Kin ya swaller?* The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, *Kin ya breathe?*  The woman starts to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks up to the woman, lifts her dress, yanks down her drawers, and gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, *Ya know, I*d heerd of that there *Hind Lick Maneuver* but I ain*t niver seed nobody do it!*

September 20, 2018
74 loads

GRASS: 31

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
3x3   27840 102.50
lgrd   49460 135.00
lgrd   48800 132.50
lgrd   45520 130.00
lgrd   44740 130.00
lgrd   43800 130.00
lgrd   43280 130.00
lgrd   59760 130.00
lgrd   44520 127.50
lgrd   20220 127.50
lgrd   50820 125.00
lgrd   49360 125.00
lgrd   50100 122.50
lgrd   60100 120.00
lgrd                120.00
lgrd   44700 115.00
lgrd   59180 112.50
lgrd   55480 110.00
lgrd   43740 110.00
lgrd   18780 107.50
lgrd   47620 100.00
lgrd   51420 100.00
lgrd   53680 100.00
lgrd   42960 100.00
lgrd   36550 100.00
lgrd   44080 95.00
lgrd   41340 95.00
lgrd   57660 95.00
lgrd   40920 92.50
lgrd   54320 90.00
lgrd   49760 85.00

After 10 years a wife started to think that their child looked a little strange, so she had a DNA test done and found out that the child was not theirs. She told her husband what she had found out. The husband replied, *You don*t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital and the baby pooped himself, you told me to go change him. So I went inside and got a cleanone and left the dirty one there.* The wife fainted.

September 27, 2018
93 loads

Alfalfa sold steady. Grass sold steady. Cornstalks sold strong to steady.

GRASS: 48

SIZE  LBS    $/Ton
smsq 7760 100.00
3x3  47620 120.00
3x3  13240 120.00
3x3  47380 115.00
3x4  21940 135.00
lgrd  21870 135.00
lgrd  45560 135.00
lgrd  43980 135.00
lgrd  48140 132.50
lgrd  49940 132.50
lgrd  46780 130.00
lgrd  50280 127.50
lgrd  18040 127.50
lgrd  53260 127.50
lgrd  53560 125.00
lgrd  46120 125.00
lgrd  50780 125.00
lgrd  54200 120.00
lgrd  52300 120.00
lgrd  51920 120.00
lgrd  53480 120.00
lgrd  49520 117.50
lgrd  50940 117.50
lgrd  27920 117.50
lgrd  44460 115.00
lgrd  49540 115.00
lgrd  40540 112.50
lgrd  56980 112.50
lgrd  40480 112.50
lgrd              112.50
lgrd  49260 110.00
lgrd  48660 110.00
lgrd  52540 107.50
lgrd  51220 107.50
lgrd  52620 107.50
lgrd              107.50
lgrd  51480 105.00
lgrd  12660 105.00
lgrd  43960 102.50
lgrd  54680 102.50
lgrd  45660 100.00
lgrd  42920 100.00
lgrd  43480 100.00
lgrd  34200 95.00
lgrd  45820 90.00
lgrd  41400 90.00
lgrd  40320 87.50
lgrd  49200 80.00
lgrd  17860 60.00

The plumber said:  *Why haven*t you paid your bill for the work I did last Friday?* Paddy replied:  *Well it was not what you quoted me* The plumber said: *I didn*t give you a quote?* Paddy replied,  *Yes you did! when I asked what day you could come, you said you were free on Friday*